Dear Bee,
This has been a hard day for me and I don't quite know how to share it with you. My policy with you has always been honesty and transparency and when I start adapting that policy towards others, and truly committing to be a confidant to others as well as you, I find myself full of the burdens of other people and feeling unable to share or unload those burdens with you. This is the point where I begin to feel overwhelmed - until I remember that as a friend, my role is only to carry that burden to the cross of Jesus with and alongside them.
That being said, today was full of tension for me as I heard the pain of friends all around me. Sisters and brothers are far more overwhelmed by their individual burdens than I could ever hope to shoulder on my own or even understand. I am so glad that I have God by my side in times like this, and glad that you are so gracious to me.

On a seemingly unrelated note, I am blessed by the way we practice this marriage covenant of ours. You and I may not be seasoned in this venture yet, but I will say we've experienced some garbage in the first year of our marriage thus far. And it seems that regardless of how the circumstances seem to mount against us, we stay together and don't tend to drift apart. Probably because we're both holding so tightly onto one another and probably because God is the strength fuelling the whole thing. Thank you for your faithfulness and for your grace. It is rare and I do not want to discount it or make it feel cheap. You are a gift to me and I never want to take it for granted.

I'm just praying right now that you give me a big 'ole hug later.

Love,
Hubs

Dear Beccah,
Today we started studying the book of Romans. I know that there are days when you get mighty frustrated about the Red Devil and it's quad-weekly occurrence, but I want you to know that while I may not always have the words to say (and not much of my male language can eat through the blockage of cramps and raging hormones) please know that I always love you and that these days are no exception.

Hopefully this brief letter finds you on a day where you are not suffering the negative effects of simply being female, and it makes you chuckle. If not, you better believe I am across the room already out of fists' reach.

Love,
Hubs

Dear Bee,
I am always happy to see you get passionate. Whenever there's that familiar spark in your eye, that ever-so-intense tone to your voice, I remind myself how blessed I am to have a wife like you.

I mean, think about it! Without your crazy moments of wild passion and fearless faith, we wouldn't be on the track we are on now. We wouldn't have gone to Japan and Thailand last year, wouldn't have gotten engaged in a river, wouldn't have gotten married barefoot, and wouldn't be planning a trip to East Asia this summer.

Hearing you talk with Charlie and Louise at lunch just for me excited for the years to come in whatever corner of the globe God calls us to. I'm sure that wherever it may be, I can count on you by my side for a whirlwind adventure. Here's to the years without fears facing down spears and talking about Jesus to any who will hear(s).

Love,
Hubs

Dear Bee,
You are napping next to me on a picnic blanket in the park. We just watched Oblivion with Tom Cruise, got Subway sandwiches and are on our way to prank my little sisters' room with balloons and ribbons.
Laying here with you is perfection. I never dreamed I would end up in a love like this, or to feel the way I do about you. But every single day, without fail, I find myself loving you more.

- pause - You woke up.

Anyways. We just finished TP'ing two little girls' room and felt very proud of it. We're majestically shameless. I have to admit how much fun you can be, Bee. Praying with you in the car took me back to that first afternoon we spent in the park together, the week we met. Your prayer have always been attractive to me, simply because of the simple grace and humility with which you approach God. I married a god-fearing woman! I hope we get to pray like this all the time - for family, for our future kids, for our ministry. It always make me feel united to you in heart. Let's keep praying out loud. It made me uncomfortable, in a growing and stretching kind of way. And I'm always in need of that.

Love,
Spencer

Dear Bee,
Today your grandpa Joe passed away. Things started out beautiful with our trip to Santa Monica and the museum, but things got hard after you got the call from your Mom. I wanted to just hold you, and for once, just stop talking and let you grieve. You let me, and I just watched you cry.

I have to admit, days like this are hard for me. At some moments they're even harder than the times when I can share in your pain. Because when I feel it too, it's easier to understand, and when it's easier to understand, it's easier to be strong. And when it's easier to be the strong one, I generally do a crap job of just being a shoulder to cry on. I hope I did all right in that office today.

Thank you for your strength, Beccah. Even in the midst of this loss, you remain tethered to God and obviously want to keep your eyes on Him. Don't lose that heart. No matter what comes our way (though I could hardly imagine more tragedy this year - and even while saying that I trust God if he were to bring more) I know that we will not be moved and God cannot be changed.

That's been my prayer for you today. That He would sustain you and that you would let him grieve with you, but also comfort you forward. I know that you're safe in our Father's arms.

Love,
Hubs

Dear Bee,
I have just finished my homework about a day ahead of schedule. I don't know why I always freak out about stupid things like this but I do. For some reason, in my mind, if I don't get done early, then the day I finish my homework on has been wasted. But I am rambling.

Today has been another prayerful day. I've been processing everything God has taught me the last five weeks or so and it seems like the wells of all He is run deeper and deeper. I see Him in everything: the sun spotlighting the tiniest blade of grass as I write this, the gentleness of the breeze - but really, I mean I can feel how gentle God is in the air right now. It's been a time for me that I can't really compare to any other in my life... Everyday loving God more and wanting more of what He wants.

And with this my compassion grows. I care so much more deeply about the people around me, of which you reign supreme. I just can't help but hug you, ad squeeze you, and be more gushingly romantic than I ever was even while we were dating. I hope this is apparent. I asked you last night as we were falling asleep, "Do you feel loved?" And you said that you did, more everyday. And that, love, means the world to me. My mind and my heart both explode in tosquishy and dynamic mush when you say things like that to me. And apparently I get poetic. And gory.

Please, please, please continue to feel loved... And I'll do my part :)

Love,
Hubs

Dear Beccah,
Today is a day for prayer. I'm looking around at my life and all the people in it, and I really need to be praying for them. In the past, I've been so concerned with my own struggles and my own life and my own relationship with you and with God, that I haven't spent much time talking to God about the people I supposedly care about. I've been selfish.

So when I'm done writing this letter, I'm going to pray for the people on my list with you at the top. After that teaching yesterday about valuing individuals, I feel much more equipped to do so - because my heart is aching for the pain I see around me. I don't just want to pray or do things for my own sake but rather, I want to things for others because I truly love and care about them.

This may sound like basic stuff, but I'm convicted that this hasn't been the way I act compared to how I've thought. Time to apply the truth of God's goodness to my life. And I know you'll be with me in it, right by my side.

Love,
Spencer

Dear Bee,
This letter is the first of many. I decided last night in bed that I wanted today to be spontaneous and romantic. So, I set an alarm and 6AM I got up to buy you some flowers, Cookies&Cream Chocolate, and Odwalla juice. I was almost caught by Anne who saw me driving away when you were in the kitchen making breakfast, but I was far too coy for you to catch me. We then had an awesome lunch at Mi Casita, and were "reminded of Jodie's infamous phone call" after lunch when I forgot that I was supposed to be taking video of the Caribbean outreach team.

I realize that today isn't anything special. It's not an anniversary, a birthday, a hallmark date in our relationship, or anything of any immediate significance. But the more I thought about it last night, the more I realized I wanted to make everyday more special for you. As I write I am sitting on top of an industrial sized clothes dryer in the laundromat. But as I look down on you from my "Rain Fresh" scented vantage point, I can see the women that I promised to love like treasure and gold, and I'd do anything just to see you crack the smallest smirk. 

These letters are mostly my way of pouring love on you to surprise you with how awesome of a husband I actually am. But really, these are just my sweet-hearted revenge for all those letters you wrote me before our wedding and never showed me until after.

I hope your heart is warmed when you read of my love, your face beams when I make you laugh, and your countenance changes to be lifted up on days when you feel low. You're my favorite, Beccah.

Love,
Hubs